INEXPLICABLE POCKET

Sorry about that; my caps lock was on.

I have two semesters left of school. Obviously, that is a very good thing, but I'm already feeling nostalgic about those trips down to Champaign. (Did I already write this post before?) I submitted my application to the program at 11:59 on February 31, about 4 years ago. It was due by March 1, but I didn't know if that meant 11:59 on February 31 or March 1. I didn't want to have put myself through that entire application process to be rejected for being late. Anyway, what I should have learned from the application process was that it was going to be an extremely stressful journey. I think Eric and I almost broke up at 11:56, but I got the application in, and I couldn't have done it without Eric's help. And that was another glimmer into the future, because I couldn't have this program at all without Eric's help. Wait, this is turning into an Academy Award acceptance speech. So, would now be a good time to mention the time we were in Chamapign and Brendan didn't want to go to bed so he had a 9.0 temper tantrum and threw up on the hotel bed? Yes, maybe finishing this program will be even better than I'm thinking.

So anyway I started the program in July when I was what, 7 months pregnant with Brando. That was insane. We had one two-credit-hour class that met down at UIUC over 10 days. It was INSANE. They call it bootcamp, and I think the comparison is a tiny bit justified. But by far the hardest semester was this past one, with Aidan a newborn and the big boys not quite so big. Eric could of course one-up me, because he finished his grad program the year after Liam was born, and he interviewed at the big G in Mountainview with the whole family in tow when I was 7 months pregnant with Aidan, and with the big F the week after Aidan was born, and had to decide if we would all move to Palo Alto in about 3 days. That was quite a lot of pressure too. Now, with the end sort of finally in sight, I am starting to get giddy about having extra time to do stuff besides schoolwork. Wow, that will be so incredible!

Also, btw, I am a TOTAL Psychic! Because tonight, for the first time in a looong time, after I wrote the above post but before I posted it, Brando had a 9.0 temper tantrum. Fortunately he did not throw up, but he did expertly push my buttons, so that I at one point made the exact same yelling noise he was making, to see what he'd do, and he stopped for a second, looked at me, asked for a kleenex, and then continued right on with his The Exorcist meltdown, and it didn't phase him at all. I can't quite imagine what I would have done if my mom yelled at me, but apparently from Brando's reaction, not much of anything. I know, just leave him alone. (sorting or directing him to anything once the meltdown has begun does not work.) I'm sure with a lot of kids they'll stop in ten minutes, or an hour. BP? Not likely. It was our fault because we let him stay up til the ungodly hour of 8:30. I know, what the hell were we thinking?!? But like I say, these are much fewer and further between these days, so that's good. Instead he just teeters on the brink of meltdown, and usually is able to recover himself before going off the cliff. But if he's going to go down, by lord he's taking the lot of us down with him.

Oh yes, and finally. Why do so many of Aidan's clothes have pockets?

no pocket here...

(we call him Aidan Michael Jordan. If you can't see the resemblance above, well, you will when you see his out-of-this-world hops on the bball court.)

Noble Kings and Princes

Every day, I complain about something. I'm not proud of that, but I know I do. Yet I also think I do have a real appreciation for all that I have, so much so that I'm always a little worried it's TOO good. Recently I've been realizing how I live better than almost all the past kings and queens ever did. They never had indoor plumbing, heating and air conditioning, cars, top notch medical practices, delicious food of every kind and culture at their fingertips, etc. etc. It's pretty amazing to think that you live better than a queen. I once told a friend some advice that I was told. Before you walk down the aisle at your wedding, stop for a minute and really take it all in, look at the people and the church and experience it, because it goes by so fast and most of it's a blur. She reminded me of that in the Christmas card she sent me this year, and I immediately went to the Living Room and watched my boys playing and then made them come over and give me a hug. (Ok, Aidan was in the entertainment saucer, but he was watching.) Anyway, I wish I would complain less, but I am happy that I pretty much know how lucky I am and really do appreciate it every day. But a lot of times I feel like my hamster and just want to eat my kids because I love them so much. (well, at least that's the reason I would eat my kids. In her case it might have been some other reason.) So in the midst of baking and present wrapping I'm going to stop and take it all in once and a while too.

Last day of Having a 4 Year Old & 3 Year old

I don't have time to wax poetic about Liam's transition from 4 to 5. Or about how awesome it's been to have these little boys take over my house, starting just about 5 years ago. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to do that, but until then I'm just posting some random pics of my 3 favorite boys. Most are of Liam and Brendan, because today is my last day of having a 4 yr old and a 3 yr old. Aidan will still be zero for some time. :o) I love these little guys and I feel so lucky that they love each other too.

Well That Didn't Last Long

My self-imposed teetotaler status has ended. Like I said, that was one fun party on Friday night, but I think I can get back in the saddle again. Phew. This'll make me more fun on margarita night. So...when's margarita night?! Ok, after y'all have your babies. Fine. Should I bring the blender to the hospital? I'm so classy.

And no, contrary to how this post reads, not drunk. Just a little overtired since Aidan's been getting up periodically for the last couple weeks because of "teeth pains." Basically on any given night SOMEone gets up for some reason, but I'm not going to complain at all because for a week or two Aidan completely stopped going down easily into the crib (again that magical thing where he would be awake and you could PUT HIM DOWN and he would just GO TO SLEEP. Incredible! Never would I have believed it really happens if I didn't get him.) but now things are back on track there. So if I have to get up once or twice for a short time (or more accurately if Eric has to) then I can't complain cause overall it's fine. Just tiring.

I need a drink. :o)

Oh Yeah

I completely forgot how MESSY feeding a baby solid foods is. Aidan just had his first solid food a few days ago (organic summer squash, in November, ah well) and tonight he had bananas. Messy but so so cute too. He seemed to like both, though Brendan thought, because he kept spitting it out, that we were torturing him, so the first meal consisted of Brendan jumping up and down excitedly on his chair shouting "No! No! Stop! He doesn't like it!" and we got it on video and it was pretty damn funny. Brendan's face kept involuntarily mimicking Aidan's, with horrified undertones. Ah, these boys are always looking out for each other.

Rockin anda Rollin?

I'm not sure if Alanis Morissette would write a song about it, but I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to books.

Malevolent Muddled Milieu

Don't you totally hate it when you spend a ton of money buying a whole bunch of new clothes to use as a temporary wardrobe after you have your third baby in 4 1/2 years and you still have 5 pounds to lose to get back to your normal weight even though you actually weigh less than you did when you got pregnant with baby #3 but your body has changed so much that you're in fact more like 15 pounds overweight and all your regular clothes are either too big or too small (mostly too small) and then you take the tags off all the clothes and wash them and throw away the receipt and then you realize the clothes actually are hideous and make you look moronic and awful and you try to wear them anyway because you feel guilty thinking of all the other better things you could have done with that money and then you realize you just can't do that and now you still have no clothes to wear? Me too.

I also hate the new tsa policies (and most of the old ones too, like the one where I had to throw away my baby's teething toy before getting on to the plane even though it was specially listed ON THEIR OWN WEBSITE as being approved for flight) and I hate that there's a good chance those policies won't be ended because they spent $80million and counting on their stupid radiation boxes and well at least $18,000/yr on each of their gropers.

I have a lot more to complain about, but I'll stop there.

Last Day of Brendan the Two-Year-Old

and a quintessential picture reflecting Brendan's morning attitude versus Liam's...



For a boy who's seemed like he was three since the age of one and a half, I'm still surprised Brendan is going to be three tomorrow. Mixed emotions for Mommy but Brendan's pretty psyched about his big day. I wonder though, with his newfound big-boy-ness, will he still say things like,

Mom, is this the right feet?

That's where we go for fwinmmin lessons

Do you want me to do (insert various assorted dangerous things here), or no?

I didn't do nothin naughty

Stupid (or fat or hate) is not nice

Don't forget my vitaminins

What?! That's incredibal!!

I'm not fussin, I'm just laughin

I gotch ya

I sleeped good, are you happy?

I'm not sayin poopoo, because poopoo is potty talk. you shouldn't say poopoo so I'm not gonna just keep sayin poopoo, poopoo, poopoo, poopoo. Well I'm just sayin, poopoo's not nice because you shouldn't say poopoo. or butt.

No, I amn't

Why Is a Raven...

I really just don't get why Democrats and moderate Republicans don't run a campaign something along the lines of Sarah Palin, Mad Hatter. You know? Like The Nation did, but bring it more mainstream. Paint this Tea Party with colors from the land of tweedledum, tweedledee, not authentic American Revolutionary heroes. This seems to me like the best possible response to all the craziness, just call it what it is. Thank you. :o)

That's Me Boy!

Aidan had his four month checkup today, and they confirmed what I had been thinking all along - he's a big boy! Weighing in at 17lbs 4oz and 26 1/2 inches tall, he is still on the charts but up at the top. Everyone commented on his cheerful disposition, adorable smiles, rugged good looks and obviously above-average intelligence. :o) He was a good sport about the 612 (actually 4) shots and mostly loved holding the doctor's stethoscope and drooling all over the place. As the day progresses he seems to be liking the effects of the shots less and less, but he's still a trooper.
Also today Liam and Brendan had fun going for a short visit to the park with my friend from work and two of his daughters. This was our second playdate, and the warm-up time for his girls was much shorter than last time. Liam and Brendan basically needed no warm up time and would happily have gone home with my co-worker's family.
Also, I never explained the title of my previous post (I think) and basically it was a reference to Halloween costumes. I'd explain further but Aidan needs a little comforting.

Able to Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound

Today was yet another day in the surreal world that is my life.

Brendan was playing with Spiderman and G.I. Joe. At one point I don't know WHAT was going on, all I know is that Spiderman was spanking G.I. Joe.

Liam regressed to being a physically unstable toddler while wrestling with Eric and Brendan and smashed his face directly into the corner of the couch. He now has a GIANT bruise the entirety of his cheek. Of course school pictures are next week, but the good news is he has to go to the make-up session anyway because we will be in Champaign next week. Phew.

"Did you say the Hippodrome?" Brendan's favorite line from his new favorite movie, On the Town. Second favorite line - "Did you say the Woolworth Tower?"

I have almost run out of steam as far as school is going, so I don't know what to expect as far as grades this semester. drat.

I am really pissed at the 12 morons who voted in the primary elections who picked the dingbats we now have to choose between for the general election. I'd love to select C - None of the Above, but I think it's probably too important an election to do that. Also, why don't people vote in primary elections? In the paper you read about people literally dodging bullets to go vote in other countries, and here you can basically go at your leisure, even leave work if you want, to go vote.

I would post more funny things the kids say, because there is no shortage, but that would require accessing my memory and that part of my brain has already logged off. Along with many, many other parts.

Images from apple picking, baking and life...

Today

Brendan still is trying to adjust to Eric not working from home, which means he alternates between being the cutest, sweetest little redhead ever and then turning into whatever the exact opposite of that is.

Liam had soccer after school so I had to wake Aidan and Brendan up from naps to go get him and bring him to soccer. This was not fun.

Aidan is still the best baby ever. He sleeps sometimes 10 hours a night!! I mean a lot of times. Other times he sleeps 8. You don't have to do anything to make him go to sleep. It's the craziest thing. You put him in his crib and he goes to bed. Voila! Insane! And he can talk. Trust me, Eric and my dad didn't believe it either but now they know. Liam and Brendan could actually talk in sentences around 18 months. Aidan can say 3 things since he was only a month and a half. I know it's not possible but ask the former skeptics, it's true.

Somehow after a 40 minute debacle trying to go in the backyard to play on the swings, we were all set to go when I noticed Liam's tongues of his shoes were pushed down. I said, "Liam, what's wrong with your shoes?" and he almost started crying. I said "What's the matter, it's no big deal." And then he told me how he accidentally stepped in the toilet. This was 2 hours ago and I still have no idea how this is possible. The good news is it happened when he was going to wash his hands so the toilet was clean. It was just an accident, that's all. If you understand let me know. I'd appreciate it.

I'm supposed to be in class right now.

Beep Beep Dash Beep Dash

Fantastic day of stress eating, children crying, not getting anything done. Now I have two hours of class and then I have a paper due at midnight. Tomorrow I have work and then class again tomorrow night. Thank God it's Labor Day weekend. Oh yeah, I have to work this weekend. SOS somebody, anybody?!?!

The Little Joke That Couldn't

I started back at work last week. The transition seemed easier than it has before, just as the transition from 2 kids to 3 seems easier to me than from 1 kid to 2. It probably helps a lot that Liam and Brendan have each other to play. And truly the conversations they have with us and each other have to be some of the funniest things that have ever been said on this planet. But alas.

On my first week back I had to give a presentation with a coworker. We had pretty much hashed it all out before I went on leave, so it went rather smoothly, save for a few technical glitches we had no control over. When we broke for lunch all the staff went to a restaurant across the street. I sat with a group of people, including my coworker. I started eating while she was away from table the getting a drink. I bit into my wrap and thought, "Hmm, I ordered the veggie and this tastes like... chicken. Well it must be chicken-like tofu." And happily I continued eating. My coworker came to the table, sat down next to me and started looking at her sandwich. She was surprised it had mushrooms, because she can't eat mushrooms and there weren't supposed to be any mushrooms on her chicken...Ah! Oops! Yes, I am eating your chicken sandwich and I am an idiot. How did I think this obviously chickenly meat was tofu? Fortunately there were plenty more sandwiches left so she could have another. Fast forward to the end of our second presentation. We're packing up our things and I grab my papers and water bottle and leave. Slowly I remember I didn't bring a water bottle, and wonder why I am carrying this one. Hmm. Oh yes, it belongs to... So I go back and give it to her and try to make a little joke of it all, even though it was completely insignificant on every level. "What is the matter with me? hahaha" I say to her and another coworker. "What am I doing? Before you know it I'll be at the airport tomorrow picking up your husband!" I am met by blank stares. "hahaha I'll be shouting, 'Over here Honey, it's me, (stop Donna, stop talking now)...your wife!" Now the stares turn from blank to confusion and mild concern. "Um, hahaha, next thing you know I'll be killing you and completely taking over your life! ahahaha. ha." I am met now with two truly alarmed gazes, but my mouth is going much faster than my completely wrecked brain waves can handle. Stop, I try to tell myself, but the train wreck persists. "You know, hahaha, like what's that movie, or is it a book, no, I think it's a movie," (the alarm in their eyes is becoming much more palpable) "where that guy murders the other guy and tries to pretend he's that person? You know, and that would be like me, like I'm the one, who is it?, the Matt Damon character I think, and I'm trying to take over your life, see because I ate your sandwich and now I took your water..."
Sometimes, going back to work 2 1/2 months postpartum, is just a bad idea.

Quick Update

(Thanks for the inspiration, Megan)

Today we took the kids to church with my parents. I don't take them to church very often, being a germaphobe and a generally lazy person. The last time we went, there was a parish picnic afterwards, with bouncy houses and train rides and music and a bunch of cute girls, so now anytime the word church is mentioned Brendan's eyes light up and he says how he likes church and the big party afterward. Some outtakes from Mass this morning (good thing we sat up near the front):

- Brendan, shouting (well to me it's shouting, to Brendan it's just the normal volume of his voice) matter-of-factly midway through the priest's homily, "Mom, I'm not having any fun"

- Brendan, looking up at the larger-than-life-sized statue of Jesus hanging above the alter, "What's that womans doing up there, Mommy?" "That's not a woman Brendan, it's Jesus." "Oh. Well how's he going to get down from there?"

- Brendan and Liam singing at the top of their lungs. One, we're Catholic and nobody else sings. Two, they don't know the words to any of the songs, so they're just singing gibberish mostly out of key. Doesn't bother them at all.

- Brendan moving the carseat and my purse away from the woman sitting next to us in the pew, giving her a very stern look and telling me, "I don't want her to steal this. This is ours." Throughout the entire rest of the Mass he kept glancing over at her and squinting his eyes accusatorily.

At one point my Dad tried to have Liam come stand next to him and Liam squirmed away. Later I asked him what he was doing and why he didn't stand near Grandpa. He said he thought Grandpa was trying to make him walk up the path (aisle.)

Fortunately we passed a cemetery on the way home and for the first time ever Liam noticed it and asked me what it was. "So, they bury your whole body except your bones?" "No, they bury your bones too." "Oh, so everything except your skull?" "No, every single thing, including your skull. Just not your soul." "Well how could they not bury your soul?" At one point I told him how my mom's mom and dad died and their souls are in heaven but their bodies are in a cemetery. "What, Great Grandpa M is dead?!" "Yes Liam, that's why you've never met him." "Well I didn't know he was dead, I just thought he lived far away!" Every time the conversation veered toward Heaven or God, Liam would make sure we brought it back to which parts of your body will and will not get buried. After about 35 minutes of this conversation we came to a stalemate. I'm sure Liam's going to have great dreams tonight.

Break on Through

Ah, it's been a long time since I've worked on the computer with a baby sleeping in my arms. I could put Aidan down, because he is the first of my kids who allows you to do that, but I don't want to right now. Eric and Liam and Brendan are at the 4th of July festival and I just want to hang out with this sweet baby.

So, three boys. I had been trying everything I could to coerce Aidan into being born. I reeaalllyy thought he would be a few weeks early. I went for my last checkup on his due date, and we decided to schedule an induction or whatever it's called for the following Tuesday. After I got home I considered calling to make it for Friday instead, but I'm glad I didn't. Saturday I thought I had pulled something in my back because of all the yard work I'd been doing. I stupidly lifted some giganto bags of mulch, and then was worried I'd hurt the baby, but alas around 5:00 it occurred to me I might be in labor, and I was. My Dad and Eic's brother came over to take the kids to the classic car show, and Eric and I got to the hospital around 7. My water didn't break this time, and if I wasn't already overdue I wouldn't have gone in as early as I did because I wasn't 100% sure I was really in labor, but I did and I was and at 11:04pm Aidan was born.

I had no idea what to expect from him. I felt him moving at 14 or 16 weeks, like the earliest time possible to feel movement, and it wasn't "fluttering", it was real moving. He never stopped moving from that point on, and after Brando I knew it really is possible to have a child who is not, shall we say, as Zen as Liam. If I die and have never had to bail Brendan out of jail, I'll consider mine a life well lived. Aidan though, Aidan is calm and pensive and actually will lie down in his crib and sleep. Or even not sleep, but lie there. It seems that Liam and Aidan will alternate between the bass and the guitar, while Brendan's on drums. Liam is, as usual, a doting and responsible big brother, and Brendan has really stepped up to the plate and shown a lot of love for his new brother. I know and appreciate how lucky I am. And I sincerely hope they will let me meet up with them that summer they backpack around Europe, that's all I have to say.

This last month has flown by. A week of it was taken over by us trying to decide if we should move to California to take a really awesome job Eric was offered, but in the end we decided not to do that. That was definitely one of, if not THE hardest decisions we had to make as adults. But I think we made the right choice. Also, though Brendan digs Aidan, the whole new baby situation kind of threw him off his schedule and so he's been having a rough time sleeping and has been melting down daily.

Aidan's doing great all around. At one month he's 12 1/2 pounds, which means he's gained about a pound a week, like his big brothers. He's smiling and starting to coo and has laughed a few times. But mostly he just looks around when he's awake and observes. He loves when Liam and Brendan talk to him.

I cannot believe it's July, but it's been a great summer. Tomorrow our neighbors have a brunch for the whole block and then we all walk down the street for the parade. And at night we'll go to the fireworks, if Brendan can make it that late.

Happy 4th of July!





New kid in town: