Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Malevolent Muddled Milieu

Don't you totally hate it when you spend a ton of money buying a whole bunch of new clothes to use as a temporary wardrobe after you have your third baby in 4 1/2 years and you still have 5 pounds to lose to get back to your normal weight even though you actually weigh less than you did when you got pregnant with baby #3 but your body has changed so much that you're in fact more like 15 pounds overweight and all your regular clothes are either too big or too small (mostly too small) and then you take the tags off all the clothes and wash them and throw away the receipt and then you realize the clothes actually are hideous and make you look moronic and awful and you try to wear them anyway because you feel guilty thinking of all the other better things you could have done with that money and then you realize you just can't do that and now you still have no clothes to wear? Me too.

I also hate the new tsa policies (and most of the old ones too, like the one where I had to throw away my baby's teething toy before getting on to the plane even though it was specially listed ON THEIR OWN WEBSITE as being approved for flight) and I hate that there's a good chance those policies won't be ended because they spent $80million and counting on their stupid radiation boxes and well at least $18,000/yr on each of their gropers.

I have a lot more to complain about, but I'll stop there.

2 comments:

Megan said...

You are hilarious

Crabby Apple Seed: said...

Yes, I do hate that, too. You spend a whole lifetime, figuring out how to dress your body, and then your body goes and changes almost completely, and all the stuff that looked good, looks like crap, so you don't even know what the heck to buy.

also the TSA. I hate them too, not because of all their policies, per se, although the knee-jerk reactions that supposedly keep us safe are kind of irritating, but more that they're so inconsistent and their employees are so poorly trained. it's hard for me to be confident that they're keeping me safe when they don't even know themselves what's allowed and what's not. anyway, it won't matter because in a few years we'll all be required to wear plain white jumpsuits when riding planes, or possibly surgical scrubs, and submit to cavity searches prior to boarding a plane, and then we won't have to wonder about whether or not we can bring 4 oz of hand lotion on the plane.