I started back at work last week. The transition seemed easier than it has before, just as the transition from 2 kids to 3 seems easier to me than from 1 kid to 2. It probably helps a lot that Liam and Brendan have each other to play. And truly the conversations they have with us and each other have to be some of the funniest things that have ever been said on this planet. But alas.
On my first week back I had to give a presentation with a coworker. We had pretty much hashed it all out before I went on leave, so it went rather smoothly, save for a few technical glitches we had no control over. When we broke for lunch all the staff went to a restaurant across the street. I sat with a group of people, including my coworker. I started eating while she was away from table the getting a drink. I bit into my wrap and thought, "Hmm, I ordered the veggie and this tastes like... chicken. Well it must be chicken-like tofu." And happily I continued eating. My coworker came to the table, sat down next to me and started looking at her sandwich. She was surprised it had mushrooms, because she can't eat mushrooms and there weren't supposed to be any mushrooms on her chicken...Ah! Oops! Yes, I am eating your chicken sandwich and I am an idiot. How did I think this obviously chickenly meat was tofu? Fortunately there were plenty more sandwiches left so she could have another. Fast forward to the end of our second presentation. We're packing up our things and I grab my papers and water bottle and leave. Slowly I remember I didn't bring a water bottle, and wonder why I am carrying this one. Hmm. Oh yes, it belongs to... So I go back and give it to her and try to make a little joke of it all, even though it was completely insignificant on every level. "What is the matter with me? hahaha" I say to her and another coworker. "What am I doing? Before you know it I'll be at the airport tomorrow picking up your husband!" I am met by blank stares. "hahaha I'll be shouting, 'Over here Honey, it's me, (stop Donna, stop talking now)...your wife!" Now the stares turn from blank to confusion and mild concern. "Um, hahaha, next thing you know I'll be killing you and completely taking over your life! ahahaha. ha." I am met now with two truly alarmed gazes, but my mouth is going much faster than my completely wrecked brain waves can handle. Stop, I try to tell myself, but the train wreck persists. "You know, hahaha, like what's that movie, or is it a book, no, I think it's a movie," (the alarm in their eyes is becoming much more palpable) "where that guy murders the other guy and tries to pretend he's that person? You know, and that would be like me, like I'm the one, who is it?, the Matt Damon character I think, and I'm trying to take over your life, see because I ate your sandwich and now I took your water..."
Sometimes, going back to work 2 1/2 months postpartum, is just a bad idea.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Quick Update
(Thanks for the inspiration, Megan)
Today we took the kids to church with my parents. I don't take them to church very often, being a germaphobe and a generally lazy person. The last time we went, there was a parish picnic afterwards, with bouncy houses and train rides and music and a bunch of cute girls, so now anytime the word church is mentioned Brendan's eyes light up and he says how he likes church and the big party afterward. Some outtakes from Mass this morning (good thing we sat up near the front):
- Brendan, shouting (well to me it's shouting, to Brendan it's just the normal volume of his voice) matter-of-factly midway through the priest's homily, "Mom, I'm not having any fun"
- Brendan, looking up at the larger-than-life-sized statue of Jesus hanging above the alter, "What's that womans doing up there, Mommy?" "That's not a woman Brendan, it's Jesus." "Oh. Well how's he going to get down from there?"
- Brendan and Liam singing at the top of their lungs. One, we're Catholic and nobody else sings. Two, they don't know the words to any of the songs, so they're just singing gibberish mostly out of key. Doesn't bother them at all.
- Brendan moving the carseat and my purse away from the woman sitting next to us in the pew, giving her a very stern look and telling me, "I don't want her to steal this. This is ours." Throughout the entire rest of the Mass he kept glancing over at her and squinting his eyes accusatorily.
At one point my Dad tried to have Liam come stand next to him and Liam squirmed away. Later I asked him what he was doing and why he didn't stand near Grandpa. He said he thought Grandpa was trying to make him walk up the path (aisle.)
Fortunately we passed a cemetery on the way home and for the first time ever Liam noticed it and asked me what it was. "So, they bury your whole body except your bones?" "No, they bury your bones too." "Oh, so everything except your skull?" "No, every single thing, including your skull. Just not your soul." "Well how could they not bury your soul?" At one point I told him how my mom's mom and dad died and their souls are in heaven but their bodies are in a cemetery. "What, Great Grandpa M is dead?!" "Yes Liam, that's why you've never met him." "Well I didn't know he was dead, I just thought he lived far away!" Every time the conversation veered toward Heaven or God, Liam would make sure we brought it back to which parts of your body will and will not get buried. After about 35 minutes of this conversation we came to a stalemate. I'm sure Liam's going to have great dreams tonight.
Today we took the kids to church with my parents. I don't take them to church very often, being a germaphobe and a generally lazy person. The last time we went, there was a parish picnic afterwards, with bouncy houses and train rides and music and a bunch of cute girls, so now anytime the word church is mentioned Brendan's eyes light up and he says how he likes church and the big party afterward. Some outtakes from Mass this morning (good thing we sat up near the front):
- Brendan, shouting (well to me it's shouting, to Brendan it's just the normal volume of his voice) matter-of-factly midway through the priest's homily, "Mom, I'm not having any fun"
- Brendan, looking up at the larger-than-life-sized statue of Jesus hanging above the alter, "What's that womans doing up there, Mommy?" "That's not a woman Brendan, it's Jesus." "Oh. Well how's he going to get down from there?"
- Brendan and Liam singing at the top of their lungs. One, we're Catholic and nobody else sings. Two, they don't know the words to any of the songs, so they're just singing gibberish mostly out of key. Doesn't bother them at all.
- Brendan moving the carseat and my purse away from the woman sitting next to us in the pew, giving her a very stern look and telling me, "I don't want her to steal this. This is ours." Throughout the entire rest of the Mass he kept glancing over at her and squinting his eyes accusatorily.
At one point my Dad tried to have Liam come stand next to him and Liam squirmed away. Later I asked him what he was doing and why he didn't stand near Grandpa. He said he thought Grandpa was trying to make him walk up the path (aisle.)
Fortunately we passed a cemetery on the way home and for the first time ever Liam noticed it and asked me what it was. "So, they bury your whole body except your bones?" "No, they bury your bones too." "Oh, so everything except your skull?" "No, every single thing, including your skull. Just not your soul." "Well how could they not bury your soul?" At one point I told him how my mom's mom and dad died and their souls are in heaven but their bodies are in a cemetery. "What, Great Grandpa M is dead?!" "Yes Liam, that's why you've never met him." "Well I didn't know he was dead, I just thought he lived far away!" Every time the conversation veered toward Heaven or God, Liam would make sure we brought it back to which parts of your body will and will not get buried. After about 35 minutes of this conversation we came to a stalemate. I'm sure Liam's going to have great dreams tonight.
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