and anyone else who points me to articles about bookbugs; this is what my plan is:
I'll run it past my director to see if they could microwave the books before I touch them.
Me (to patron) "Sure, let me grab that off the shelf for you. I'll be back in about 18 minutes. I just have to run down to the staff kitchen."
Me (putting on latex gloves) "I'm going to take these 47 books for Mends and Binds and run them through our microwaves. Can everyone please keep your lean cuisine out of the kitchen for a while. Shoot, where is my hazmat suit?! I KNOW I put it on my cart last week."
Me (on phone with patron) "I'm sorry I won't be able to get that for you. Well yes, it is on the shelf, but someone's using the microwave right now."
The problem with my comedy is that A) it's not funny and B) I keep going way too long. I'm just hoping if I go on with it long enough it will eventually GET funny. Like the one time with that airplane joke that never ends. My best and only laugh. Oh well, and the John Ritter Water God joke. But that's just a classic. No one can screw that up. Liam actually did it once completely spontaneously. And I laughed. Boy did I laugh.
Also, Kathy, thank's for my new favorite word, jackhole. It's reminds me of how the world opened up for me when my sister broke out "jagoff" about 16 years ago.
Next post...NOVA!
4 comments:
omg, I am dying.
First thinking about you telling the airplane joke, which is still one of the funniest things ever. Second, thinking about you telling the water joke at Wildfire, and the fact that we didn't get kicked out of the restaurant for it. Third, for the time you told the water god joke at Denny's and I dumped my water in my lap too and was really relieved that I did because I laughed so hard I peed in my pants for real.
That is so funny! I cannot wait to share it will Allison, the original bugbook lady. I know, however, that she will look at me and say:
You know...that's probably a good idea...
Donna, I think you are incredibly witty- which is way better than funny. And your kids are hilarious:) EWWWW! Bookbugs, R U SERIOUS??!!! That is disgusting.
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